How do I handle my MIL trying to control everything when it comes to my 1 year old daughter?

I'm not with my daughters father, and my daughter goes to her fathers for 5 days every 10-15 days (he lives with his Mom and step dad). Since day one she has tried to control everything. We have never really gotten along. She showed up at the hospital when I was in labor against my wishes, she gave my daughter her first bath without even asking me if I wanted to do it, she put me down for feeding and tried to talk me out of it, she kept giving her water all the time when she was really little even though the DR said she got enough through her formula and milk, that is wasn't ness. and that it could dilute her blood and be dangerous so it needed to stop, she started feeding my daughter cereal and baby food at 1 month old, even though I said I didn't want her started on it until at least 4 months, so she said she stopped but started up again behind my back, she put her on her tummy to sleep even though I said back, she smacks my daughters hands over EVERYTHING, even something like her taking her bib off or throwing a piece of food at dinner, as a form of discipline, even though I have said I do not want her to be physically disciplined and that if I ever choose that form of discipline, only her father or I will do it, she left my daughters yeast infection untreated for a week, she feeds her a lot of junk foods, and a lot of sugary drinks even though I ask her not to, especially since obesity runs in her fathers side of the family (her father is 300lbs and his mother needed gastric byp), she cut my daughters hair when she was 7 or 8 months old without asking or telling me, she does whatever she wishes as if it is HER daughter, not mine. My daughters father will never side with me or make decisions with me because he says he is too scared to go against his Mom cause she'll freak out on him, but it's not her place! It's mine and his, we are her parents, not his mother! What should I do? I'm scared to not let her over there anymore since it's where her father lives, because since she's there almost half the time (but a little less), I'm afraid that his Mom will make him take me to court for custody.